i don't like sucking hair
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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