i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
