I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
