i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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