She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
