I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Terrible idea I love it
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
