my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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