Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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