let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize