So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
