is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
