Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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