I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
