Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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