Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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