For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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