Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My feet surprised me
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