i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
