I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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