I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize