I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
