It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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