I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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