I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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