recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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