went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
