is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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