Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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