I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize