i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
