I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
