And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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