The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
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i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
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I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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