Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
