She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Found your dick twin last night
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
