he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
