Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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