i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
