ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Are we still banned from the library?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize