he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize