uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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