Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
