My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
