Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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