Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
