Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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