apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
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I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
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She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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