I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
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Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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