you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The power of my boobs compel you
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
