i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
