well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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