Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
