yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
