He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
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