Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize