its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize