Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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