I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
